I think we all instinctively know we feel better after spending time with a friend. We feel energized and happier. If we share a problem with a friend, we feel less hurt. When we share our feeling and someone can empathize and say "ME TOO!!" and it often reduces feelings of isolation and the idea that we are the only one that feels this way or had this happen. But there's also this whole new body of research showing how profoundly friendships impact our emotional and physical health. Friendships protect us from depression and anxiety. They boost our immune system. Our memory is enhanced and we sleep more deeply. The list goes on about how spending time with friends and having close confidantes supports our health. But it is a skill- making and keeping friends, and some kids have a harder time than others.
Here are some great ideas to share with your mentee from Pro Kinship
Keys to Making and Keeping Friends
1. Take a genuine interest in others. Listen and talk to people you are around.
2. Be a giver, not a taker. A good friend is better at giving and helping you than in taking from you.
3. Be loyal. Be true to the other person and stick with them in the good, the bad, and the ugly.
4. Be a positive person. People will want to hang around more if you laugh and have fun together.
5. Appreciate the differences in others. We are all unique so take the time to learn from each other and what is different.
6. Build on common interests. What brought you together in the first place is what you should focus on to keep you together.
7. Be open, honest, and real. Be ready to hear what the other has to say and be honest with your feelings.
8. Repair mistakes. You are familiar with your friends strengths and weaknesses, so you know how to tear them down better than any others. No one is perfect.
9. Make time and show appreciation. Familiarity and comfort with someone can leave us forgetting to show gratitude. Don’t let the relationship become one-sided and only focused on yourself.
10. Don’t make assumptions. Don’t assume what your friends are thinking, check it out instead.
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