Mentor like a SUPERSTAR

All of you who mentor are SUPERSTARS!  

A mentor is a torch who helps kids see into their futures. - Julie Connor, Ed.D. 

Teens are starving for attention from an adult who believes in them.
A  teen who doesn’t have a healthy relationship with an adult often lacks confidence. They are less likely to develop communication and social skills needed to establish strong personal boundaries because no one is available to be a role model. They have no one to turn to for guidance when they’re suffering and need to talk.
Teens who lack the presence of a significant adult in their lives are targeted for bullying more often than peers who have strong adult support. Many teens find support they crave through participation in gangs. They are 80 percent more likely to struggle with depression and six times more likely to attempt suicide (NCBI, 2013). 
The good news is this: Our kids don’t have to drown in silent desperation. Youth motivational speaker, Josh Shipp, believes, “Every kid is ONE caring adult away from being a success story.” A mentor is a torch who helps kids see into their futures. Mentoring offers emotional support, guidance, and encouragement for lonely youth. 
A mentor is a torch who helps kids see into their futures. - Julie Connor, Ed.D.Click To Tweet Youth mentoring is a process of matching young people with a caring adult. Adult mentors are usually unrelated to the child or teen and work as volunteers through community-, school-, or church-based programs.
Training is essential to the mentor preparation process. Not every volunteer possesses the qualities, emotional stability, or skills to be a mentor. The most successful mentoring programs interview potential mentors and offer mentor training. They consistently check in with mentors and mentees to monitor progress and track feedback.
The Effective Strategies for Providing Quality Youth Mentoring in Schools and Communities series provide mentoring program coordinators and mentors with tools to build quality mentoring programs. They outlined 10 tips for adults who want to be successful youth mentors:

1. Build relationships grounded in trust. Many teens without mature role models are suspicious of adults. Do not try to become your mentee’s best friend or substitute parent. Mentors are positive role models who invite open communication and mutual respect.
2. Create realistic goals and expectations. Do not expect your mentee to confide in you right away. Ask questions; get to know your mentee. As your relationship grows, your mentee will feel more comfortable sharing his or her life with you. 
3. Have fun together. Find out what kind of activities your mentee enjoys. Go bowling or watch a good movie. Shoot some hoops. Play miniature golf. Walk through a mall or grab a snack at a food bar. You need not spend a lot of money to build a strong mentor/mentee relationship; what’s most valuable is your investment of time. Need more ideas? Try one of these suggestions from 100 Ideas to Use When Mentoring Youth.
4. Discuss decisions about activities with your mentee. Some teens may be shy to suggest ideas because they don’t want to appear rude or needy. Others are content to let you make the decisions, especially in the beginning stages of your relationship. When you ask your mentee for input, this shows you value his or her ideas.
5. Allow your mentee to reveal personal information when they are ready. Give your mentee permission to reveal how much (or how little) information they wish to share with you. Remind them that they can share with you without fear of judgement.
6. Listen. When you ask questions and listen, you give mentees permission to share their stories and personal experiences without criticism. Ask one of these questions if you are not sure how to launch a conversation with your mentee.
7. If a mentee asks for advice, focus on solutions. Allow your mentee time to release uncomfortable emotions if they need to vent, but encourage him or her to consider their options. When they focus less on what they can’t control and shift their attention to those areas within their control: including their own thoughts, feelings, decisions, and actions, they reclaim their personal power. Don’t get stuck in the problem; consider solutions. 
8. Be positive. Briefly share your own experiences to demonstrate empathy, but your time together is not about you – it’s about your mentee. Do not bog down your time or monopolize conversations with stories about your struggles when you were growing up. If your mentee feels “stuck,” remind him or her they can change their perspective by changing their thoughts.
9. Your primary relationship is with your mentee, not their parents or family members. Do not try to act as an intermediary between your mentee and family. Resist efforts as a mentor to be drawn into parental or familial issues. Discuss matters of concern with your program director.
10. It is your responsibility to set a good example as a mentor. Your mentee will lose trust in you if you can’t be depended upon to honor your commitments. Decide upon consistent times to talk or meet with your mentee. Show up on time. Your lack of commitment can be devastating for the young person you offered to support. If you are unsure about the time or emotional commitment you have to share with a child or teen, do not volunteer to be a mentor until you are confident you can fulfill the responsibilities.

Want to read the rest of the article?
https://www.drjulieconnor.com/10-mentoring-tips/

App for your phone

Hello Mentors

Here is a fun app for you to download on your phone.

Download the App to the right (if you type the word Mentor in the App Store it should pop up)


Click on the Ideas link (see below)
Lots of fun ideas!!  Let me know if you use it!

**Company : Subsplash

Please note: The above resource information is not a recommendation or an endorsement of the services, programs, products or company by Kids ‘n Kinship.  

Ideas as the school year ends

Mentoring Tips and Ideas


Here are a few ideas to help you think of ways to spend quality time with your mentee:


Find Favorite Memories
Take a few moments to share a favorite story of growing up. Build a personal connection over time that can be the foundation of your mentoring relationship. Let it happen naturally. Find out what you both enjoy, what makes you laugh, what kind of movies and books you like and topics you can talk about.

Expand Borders
Find out what kinds of things are outside of your mentee's comfort zone and then set a plan to take them there. Maybe it’s a restaurant or a specific part of the city. Maybe it’s a different type of movie or visiting the opera or a play. Plan a time to take on those issues one at a time and break through the self-imposed borders that plague our youth.

Read Together
If you have been involved in a mentoring relationship with a child for over six months, try reading a book together. Probably no more than 150 pages on a subject you both enjoy. If your mentee struggles with reading, make it part of your meeting time and read together.

Learn Local History
Plan a short vacation in your own city. Many young people are unaware of the history of their city. Schedule a day to visit important local sites with your mentee. It could be a museum, a historical park, or even the old cemetery. You can talk about what life used to be like, how people lived, what kind of careers they might have had. Share stories of how you would like to be remembered.

Source 

Other places to look
Explore MN 

Minnesota offers an endless array of things to do! Outdoor pursuits include fishing and boating, great golf, and some of the country’s best bike trails. There are excellent museums of all types, and options for live theater abound.

Do you want better health? VOLUNTEER!!

"Volunteering makes an immeasurable difference in the lives of others. But did you know how much you help yourself by giving back? From lowering stress to boosting self-confidence, volunteering offers many health benefits—especially for older adults. 

Just search the web: There are over 19 million hits for articles on how doing good helps people lead better, healthier lives. Start reaping these mental and physical health benefits today:

1. Decrease your risk of depression. Volunteering with and for others increases social interaction and helps build a support system based on common commitment and interests—both of which have been shown to decrease depression.
2. Enjoy a sense of purpose and fulfillment—and increase your self-confidence while you’re at it!
3. Stay physically and mentally active. A study released by Johns Hopkins University in 2009 revealed that volunteers actually increased their brain functioning. Volunteer activities get you moving and thinking at the same time.
4. Reduce stress levels. By savoring your time spent in service to others, you’ll feel a sense of meaning and appreciation—both given and received—which can be calming.
5. Experience “The Happiness Effect.” You know that feel-good sense you get after a vigorous workout? It comes from a release of dopamine in the brain. Helping others has that exact same effect—so the more you volunteer, the happier you become!

Get active now!"

See HERE for more!!

"Research demonstrates that volunteering leads to better health and that older volunteers are the most likely to receive physical and mental health benefits from their volunteer activities.

Volunteering, Life Satisfaction, and Mental Health Why might we see a connection between volunteer activities and longer and healthier lives? Evidence suggests that volunteering has a positive effect on social psychological factors, such as one’s sense of purpose. In turn, positive social psychological factors are correlated with lower risks of poor physical health. Volunteering may enhance a person’s social networks to buffer stress and reduce risk of disease. This connection between volunteering, social psychological factors, and social networks has been captured by what has been termed “social integration theory,” or “role theory,” which holds that an individual’s social connections, typically measured by the number of social roles that an individual has, can provide meaning and purpose to his or her life, while protecting him or her from isolation in difficult periods. However, research also suggests that volunteer activities offer those who serve more than just a social network to provide support and alleviate stress; volunteering also provides individuals with a sense of purpose and life satisfaction"

SOURCE

10 MAGNIFICENT GAMES TO PRACTICE SOCIAL AND EMOTIONAL SKILLS WITH KIDS

What was your favorite game to play as a kid? For me, it was Monopoly and Sorry. My family and I played these games all the time!  My grandma taught me to play Gin Rummy and we would sit at her kitchen table and play for hours!  Are you looking for a game to play with your mentee?  Here are some fabulous ideas!

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Janine Halloran says “Part of why I wanted to be a therapist who works with kids is that it meant I got to play games for a living. It’s a great way to connect and learn about everyone who is playing. Plus it creates natural teachable moments to work on social skills.

10 MAGNIFICENT GAMES TO PRACTICE SOCIAL AND EMOTIONAL SKILLS WITH KIDS

Hedbanz

You pick a card, put it in your headband, and then ask the other people playing with you yes or no questions to try and figure out what you are. You have to think of the kinds of questions you need to ask to get you closer to your answer. This is a wonderful game to work on perspective taking and communicating. Plus it can be hilarious!

A Penny for Your Thoughts

If you're looking for something a little bit more focused on social-emotional strengths and helping kids cope with challenges, then try A Penny for Your Thoughts. This is a great way to generate conversations about different situations that make kids have big feelings. It's also a great way to talk about coping skills and how to manage emotions in a safe and healthy way.

Q's Race to The Top

This is a great game to not only to start conversations but also to get kids moving as well. I love the interactive physical activities in this game because it can help those kids who can't sit still for too long want to continue to play the game. I wrote a whole review on this game here.

PeaceMakers

If you're looking for something that's more focused on mindfulness and helping kids learn about themselves, then PeaceMakers is a good game for you. The prompts on the cards can help kids become aware of what's going on inside of them and what's going on around them in the world.  It can also generate some interesting conversations. I've pulled out just one card and started a conversation with my kids that was fascinating and helped me learn more about them. What a great way to connect with others!

Qwirkle

A fun game where you are creating patterns out of colors or different shapes. We've made some massive boards with this game, and it was a lot of fun. It helps kids practice thinking flexibly because you can either match based on color or pattern - which one you choose can change with each turn.

Listmania

I got this game from Peaceable Kingdom, and it has been one of my go-to games since that time. It’s a cooperative game where you work together and have fun. My family and I played it for two weeks straight at every meal time. There are so many questions that will make you laugh or groan or chuckle. Plus it’s easy to learn, and you can play anywhere. There’s no board, just cards that give you directions for how to play.

 It’s super simple but lots of fun and perfect for a game to bring on the go.
 

Cauldron Quest

Another Peaceable Kingdom game that is a favorite of mine. You work together to get all the ingredients in The Cauldron before you get caught by spells. It's pretty easy to figure out the rules, and you work together to win the game as a whole group.

Story Cubes

This game encourages creativity, flexible thinking and working together to create a story using nine cubes with different images. This game is excellent for small groups!

Apples to Apples Junior

This is another game that is so much fun but also works on taking someone else’s perspective.  The winning card will change depending on who is judging, so players have to adjust their thinking. 

Bubble Talk

This game is similar to Apples to Apples but uses pictures and captions instead. Everyone can take a turn being the judge, and the judge picks the caption that they think fits the image best. You have to think about things from the perspective of the judge, so it's another game to help children work on taking another person's perspective.

Plane

As with everything in life, game play doesn’t always go smoothly. People may not play by the rules or may get upset when they lose or when someone else is celebrating their win. That’s OK and expected! Nothing in life is perfect, including playing games. Use those teachable moments to reinforce expected behaviors, give feedback and model positive interactions. Start playing today!  

From: https://www.encourageplay.com/blog/10-magnificent-games-to-practice-social-and-emotional-skills-with-kids