Meet Rita as she shares her love for the youth she works with.....


I have a fantastic job. I get to meet the most wonderful people in the world. I interview volunteers: individuals, couples and families, who step forward to mentor a child needing support. As I get to know the volunteers, I have images and characteristics of amazing kids swimming around in my head.

Last week I got to know a teen I have known for over three years, a little better. Jeffrey witnesses his younger sister and her fantastic mentor match. He has wanted one too - and now, due to some changes in his life, he is ready to meet a wonderful mentor! Jeffrey is a great teen. He is smart, respectful and interested in lots of things, including playing games like Jenga and checkers. He also likes biking, skateboarding and rollerblading, swimming, basketball and football. He might like to learn Karate. He helps his grandmother with grocery shopping and he helped his grandfather rewire and install a ceiling fan.

Jeffrey has been in an adult-like role of caring for his younger siblings - he could really benefit from a thoughtful mentor or a mentor couple who could help Jeffrey enjoy being a kid! If you or someone you know is ready for the positive, life changing, experience of being a friend to Jeffrey, let us know at kidsnkinship.org. We will be happy to tell you more . . .

Why do some mentoring relationships just click, while others seem to plod along slowly and others never seem to get off the ground? There are many reasons including individual, family and outside influences. A few thoughts are:


>Interpersonal History
Children and adolescents who have enjoyed healthy relationships with their parents may more easily be drawn to adults as role models and confidants. If you know how to interact with your family, it will play out in your outside relationships

>Social Competencies
This refers to children who possess the social, emotional, and intellectual skills and behaviors needed to succeed as a member of society. Youth who are better able to regulate their emotions and who have positive temperaments and/or other engaging attributes may be primed for higher levels of involvement with adults than are peers who lack these attributes.

>Developmental Stage
How old a mentee is will also certainly effect the mentoring relationship. Younger children thrive from active play and activities while older transitioning to teen age may want to engage in talking and conflict soling as well as life issues that arise.

>Relationship Duration

The longer the length of the relationship, the larger the benefits. Mentors get to know their mentee better as time goes on and as the relationship deepens so do the advantages.

>Program Practices
Programs that match their mentors well, stay involved with the match and offer mentor support have a greater likelihood of matches surviving tough periods between the mentor and mentee.

>Family Context
Parents who are involved actively in the program increase the youths chances at success. Mentoring programs that reach out to and involve the whole family have a greater change at helping at risk youth and in shaping their futures,

>Neighborhood Ecology
Community activity and involvement and support can also have an profound effect on youth today. The more cohesive a community the more likely it is youth will be able to have stong ties to those around them



Excerpts and summary from: by Jean Rhodes
at The Chronicle of Evidence Based Mentoring
For more information click here

Extraordinary

Mentoring...

It's awesome to watch the ordinary people who are willing to give of themselves with no real thought to getting anything in return- yet they do get something extraordinary!!


I am also amazed at the courage of parents to reach out for their child and ask for help.


This weekend I had the privilege of watching a family ask for guidance as well as a mentor and mentee begin their relationship. The family is going through some challenges and the kids are now living with their father. There are 2 older boys and one young girl. Dad works 2 jobs to support the kids and he is concerned his little girl is missing "girly things" in her life, so her school counselor called me. Who am I? I am a coordinator at Kids 'n Kinship. What do we do here? Here's how Kids ‘n Kinship works: Mentors and mentees get together on a weekly basis for fun and enriching activities. The mentor/mentee match builds an intentional friendship through sharing hobbies, sports, going to the park, arts & crafts, community events and other opportunities. The program focuses on spending time together and building a relationship. It was delightful to meet this little girl and learn about her interests and things she would love to do with a girl!


The second activity I had the opportunity to participate in this weekend was what we call "making a match" which is when I find a fabulous mentor for one of our incredible kids and they get to meet to begin their relationship. We work really hard at matching kids and adults who are just going to "CLICK" and this weekend was no exception! As soon as we all got together the teen and the mentor started talking and finishing each others sentences and planning things they would do. Mom kept chiming in with how remarkable it was that they had so much in common!!


I am a mom of 4 myself and I applaud the courage it takes for a parent to reach out and ask for help with their child. What I find amazing is the willingness of the parents to trust the well being of their child to another adult - yet, with my personal experience with being a coordinator, I see all the excellent processes that we take and I hope that I can reassure any worries a parent may have. I love being able to connect with parents to talk, encourage and empower them!!.


I see how the children in our program gain so much from having another person in their life that loves them unconditionally. Helping establish these relationships and watching them grow is the biggest benefit of my job!




Do you want to be a part of something like this and make a difference in your community? Check out our website here!!


Smiles!!!
Melynda

Powerful Mentoring!

Sometimes we think of mentors narrowly as those who sign up through a formal program to spend time with a young person. In addition to these formal mentors, informal or everyday mentors can be any trustworthy adult who offers support, guidance, and encouragement to help young people overcome challenges and become their best selves. What specific actions can adults take in their relationships with young people that help youth learn, grow, and thrive? Search Institute's newest research on developmental relationships identifies five essential actions that lay the foundation for a powerful mentoring relationship:   Express Care: Young people value relationships with adults who show they genuinely like them and want the best for them. These relationships help youth know they really matter.   Challenge Growth: Young people value relationships with adults who insist that they do their best to learn and improve.   Provide Support: Young people value relationships with adults who offer tangible, appropriate feedback and guidance in completing tasks and achieving goals--without taking over and doing it for them.   Share Power: Young people value relationships with adults in which they feel their voice is heard and they share in making decisions that affect them. This helps youth develop self-confidence and self-direction.   Expand Possibility: Young people value trustworthy adults who help them broaden their horizons and connect them to opportunities for growth and discovery.  Taken from The Search Institute Here.

National Mentoring Month: A Peek into a long term friendship

It's National Mentoring Month and look here for a peek at what a long term mentoring relationship can do : for a family, a parent, a child and mentor!!

Kirsten and Malia have been together since June 2009 and it’s easy to see how well they get along. “Our personalities are so similar, she’s just like me when I was that age,” says Kirsten. “Sometimes it seems like Malia and I are the same person – we see the world and react to things in a very similar way.  It feels like we “get” each other and we don’t need to explain things.  For example, a couple years ago, we went to see The Nutcracker (ballet) around the holidays.  Malia’s comment afterward was ‘I like it better when they talk.’  That was EXACTLY what I’d been thinking too – when I told her that we just laughed.”  They both love animals, so they enjoy playing with Kirsten’s dogs & cats, and visiting Kirsten’s horse. The highlight of their match to date was a “behind the scenes” tour of the MN Zoo from a friend who is a zookeeper.  “We got to give the Tapirs a massage (with a deck broom!) and see a 4 day old baby sloth.  It was truly amazing – we were so privileged.” 

Malia loves baking cookies at Kirsten’s house where she also gives Kirsten a hard time about how old the flour is, or when the last time she used the oven was.  Malia easy ‘outbakes’ Kirsten, which is a big hit with Gordie, Kirsten’s husband.  Kirsten admits she was surprised by how easy it has been to find things to do together. “It’s so easy!  We don’t have to do special things all of the time – just hanging out or taking the dogs to the park is just as much fun as the “big” stuff.  She’s the easiest person to hang with in the whole world!” 

Malia’s mom Joann appreciates that Malia has “someone to talk who is not biased, not part of the family.” Kirsten includes Malia in family gatherings and when Kirsten goes on vacation, she sends Malia postcards which Malia collects in a keepsake box.  Joann has nothing but good things to say about Kirsten and the impact she has had on Malia: “[She is] such a blessing!  I love dealing with her and she’s just a gem! I was just telling my sister how good of a relationship it is and I think it’s really helping Malia’s self-esteem…it just brightens up her day…it has been huge in Malia’s life.  I am extremely grateful for Kirsten, for her encouragement….Kirsten is a good role model for her.  She always shows respect and is kind.”  Kirsten also speaks very highly of Joann and Malia: “Joann is a very empathic person; [she] looks for the good in people. I have such respect for Joann as a mom.  She’s doing a great job with her girls!”  About Malia, Kirsten says “She’s a very grateful, open minded, gracious young lady and I love that about her.  She also has an amazing memory; I swear she never forgets anything, ever.”

Malia has really blossomed with Kirsten’s dedicated support. She has discovered a joy of reading and won the Reach award (Respect, Empathy, Achievement, Citizenship & Hopes & dreams) at school three times.  She also sang a Taylor Swift song solo at her choir concert! Kirsten believes in her mentee, listens to her, and encourages her in all her goals. Malia wrote about her match last summer in the Tech Mentor project: “I met Kirsten when I was about 8 years old.  It was awkward at first because I really don’t like being around new people but I gave her a chance and we became friends slowly but surely.  Being around her has made a huge difference in my life!  My grades have improved since I’ve been with Kirsten I think it helped that once in a while she would send a letter saying ‘I’m really proud of you’”.  Kirsten says, “Mentoring is really as impactful for the mentor as it is for the mentee. Mentoring is a great way to look at the world differently and try things you wouldn’t otherwise have tried.”  Kirsten looks forward to “many more years of hanging out with this totally cool young lady.”   

These 2 had a had a fantastic interview at WCCO this week!!  Take a look. 

Would you like to make a difference?  Go here!

 

January is National Mentoring Month!!

Please consider stepping up to make a difference in the life of a youth and become a mentor. All it takes is a willingness to befriend a child and individually or together with your spouse or family meet with the child once a week for low-cost activities in your home and community.


In Burnsville, there are 14 youth currently matched with mentors, and 14 youth waiting for mentors through Kids 'n Kinship. Here is one waiting mentee’s story:

Skylar enjoys hockey & basketball, swimming, bowling, drawing, roller skating, movies, going out to eat and volunteering.  She lives with her mom, stepdad, & younger sister.  They recently moved so she misses her friends.  Skylar is friendly and social; she’s in 7^th grade.  She wants to learn archery and get rid of depression.   She’s looking for a younger female mentor to have someone she could talk to and have fun with.

In Lakeville, there are 5  youth currently matched with mentors, and 5 youth waiting for mentors through Kids 'n Kinship.  Here is one mentor’s story:

It’s like we are twins!!  We love to do so many of the same things  We went to New Prague festival, watched Miracle on Ice because it was for homework, went back to school shopping, visited Caponi’s Art Park, went to Jordan’s Largest Candy Store, walked around the lake, checked out the farmers market, and went to the water park.  It’s all so much fun to see it through her eyes!!

In Farmington, there are 4 youth currently matched with mentors, and 5 children waiting for mentors through Kids 'n Kinship. Here is one mentee's story:

He has been my mentor for 5 years.  We watch sports, grab something to eat, and I go to his house!  I am just like a part of his family. It’s easy and fun!!!

In Apple Valley, there are 10 youth currently matched with mentors, and 11 youth waiting for mentors through Kids 'n Kinship. 

Below is one waiting mentee’s story:

Thomas likes football and baseball; as well as board games and he is very good at chess.  Thomas is a wonderful young man who has had a lot of changes in his life.  He is helpful to his single parent mom and he is sensitive, funny, happy, creative and very curious.  He needs a positive male role model.  His favorite subjects in school are: social studies, spelling and gym. He would like to become a puppeteer and eventually work at Nintendo for his career!

In Eagan, there are 10 youth currently matched with mentors, and eight youth waiting for mentors through Kids 'n Kinship.   Below is one teen’s story:

Angela recent told her mom, regarding her new mentor  "Mom I can grow up and be like her; I can go to school and be like her." Angela's mom also says that since Angela has been matched, she has changed a lot and is so much happier and I have seen her confidence improve.  They have gone to plays and to museums and her mentor is wonderful and very respectful and I really value what she is doing for my daughter.

In Rosemount, there are eight youth currently matched with mentors, and five children waiting for mentors through Kids 'n Kinship. Below is one mentee's story:

I love going with my mentor.  She used to come to help me at school when I was in elementary school. Now she picks me up from middle school every Friday and we go to her house and do crafts and cook and sometimes go out for hikes.  She is really nice to me and I love to spend time with her no matter what we do.

What should we do??

Ever have a conversation with your mentee that goes like this...?

"What do you want to do today?"

*Shoulder shrug*

"I dunno, whatta you wanna do?"

I've had conversations like that many times in the past, but not anymore. I'm learning to appreciate the little things in life and enjoy living in the moment more. Too often when we think about "fun" things, we think of the expensive options like taking in a ballgame, going to a movie, or going to a concert.

Here's a list to help free you from boredom without emptying your wallet.

Watch the Sunset

Play Board Games

Play Card Games

Go on a Digital Scavenger Hunt

digital scrapbooking

Have a Bonfire or Campfire in Your Backyard

Get Ice Cream

Pretend You're a Tourist in Your Community

Go to the Farmers Market.  YES it’s open!! www.stpaulfarmersmarket.com 

Bake a Pie

Go to the Library

Host a Classic Movie Marathon

Write Out A  List of "things I really want to do" and do one!

Go bowling 

Clean Out Your Closet and Donate to a Thrift Store

Watch for Shooting Stars

Take a Free Online Class

Set Three New Goals for Yourself

Find a Community Play to Attend

Volunteer at the Food Shelf
Put Together a jigsaw puzzle

Tour the Local Fire or Police Station and Thank Them for Their Service

Visit a Local Nursing Home and Engage With the Residents

Have a  Dance Party

Walk Through the Craft Store and Start an Art Project

Have a "Minute to Win It" Party
Ideas