Chat Groups

One of the significant things Kids 'n Kinship offers our mentors for on going support is quarterly times to get together and meet other mentors (without your mentee) and to get training about issues our children and families are facing. 

Last week we had a great Kids 'n Kinship Chat Group with 25 volunteers, mentors and mentees! Wells Fargo Bank volunteers presented:
Money skills you need for life - - An engaging and easy way to learn financial basics and smart money management including:
Where does money come from/how does it circulate through banks and society?
Measuring value - is it worth buying?
Budgeting and putting yourself in control of your money
Examples of real life money issues
Education and earning money

  

It was a wonderful interactive session!​ Mentors commented on how important the information is and that is was a great setting to learn with other mentors and mentees. Typically in our Chat Groups, mentors have lots of opportunity to learn from one another, sharing what works and what doesn't, hot tips on fun and free activities, communication with parents and encouraging interaction with mentees. Mentors tell us and staff witness how much we learn from one another!​

One staff member had this to say about our chat sessions:
"Chat Groups are one of our favorite trainings because mentors tell us they get so much out of it when they learn from other mentors. One mentor found out about creating a scavenger hunt; another mentor got tips on budgeting money and activities with their mentee; and several shared ideas on connecting with parents and guardians in positive ways. Chat Groups are one of the best ways for mentors to experience ongoing training and get renewed motivation for mentoring!"  


While we offer four chat groups a year, mentors commit to attend 2 in order to further their ongoing training  - though many of our mentors attend all - which is great!


Please look for upcoming chats and make sure to subscribe to the blog for more information!!

Emotional Intellegence

It has been said that "emotional intelligence is the key to both personal and professional success"

 (source)

Have you heard the term emotional intelligence? Are you curious? Do you know what it means?

e·mo·tion·al in·tel·li·gence (noun)
the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one's emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically.

Simply put:emotional intelligence is your individual ability to identify, manage, and express your emotions, and to identify and empathize with the emotions of others.

How does having it improve your life? Is it something that you’re just born with? Can you learn it? Does it matter? Yes, I think it does. I believe that it positively effects your self-esteem, your physical health, your mental health, your job performance, and enhances your relationships.

While heightened emotional intelligence isn’t a requirement to grow in life, it certainly helps with a lot of significant areas. And, I would argue, that emotional intelligence is becoming increasingly beneficial as our world turns more and more towards technology.

Emotional intelligence can be broken down into four primary skill sets:

Emotional Awareness (or self-awareness): being aware of your own emotions, moment to moment, and understanding how your emotions influence your thoughts and behavioral choices
Emotional Management (or self-management): being able to shift, manage, and consciously suppress your emotions when necessary.
Social awareness: being aware of the emotional realities of others.
Relationship management: knowing how to develop and maintain healthy personal relationships with others

Want to see what yours might be?  Go here to download a quiz !!

Download the form and see yours!! Try it with your mentee too!! Are they similar?

Additional information found at here and here

The Power of Pizza

Ok, not really pizza power, but the power of food and getting together to share a meal as a way of connection. Last month a group of mentors sat down outside to share their stories with each other in the hopes that talking about things would help them learn what others were doing,  And it did just this- but it accomplished so very much more!  As stories were shared and "pass the pizza " was heard, the mentors began to share ideas and ways to connect with their mentees.  Over and over we heard "me too!" Which is such a compelling connection point, we realize we have something to give to others, as well as we are not alone.  And meeting outside, well that was an added bonus!!

Did you know?

Did you know? The story of Mentor comes from Homer's Odyssey. Odysseus, king of Ithaca, fights in the Trojan War and entrusts the care of his household to Mentor, who serves as teacher and overseer of Odysseus' son, Telemachus.

The definition of a mentor, according to Merriam Webster is:
noun men·tor \ˈmen-ˌtȯr, -tər\
1capitalized : a friend of Odysseus entrusted with the education of Odysseus' son Telemachus
2a : a trusted counselor or guide

Which brings us to the question, what is the role of a mentor today? Here are some ideas to think about:

· Be a friend, not a parent or authority figure. Mentors are trusted guides helping young people make positive decisions, form their own values, and realize their potential.


· Have realistic goals and expectations.Mentors understand that change doesn’t happen overnight and that setbacks occur.


· Have fun. Getting to know the young person is the primary goal of any mentoring relationship. Activities such as hanging out, grabbing a bite to eat, or playing basketball, help build the relationship.


· Allow the mentee to have voice and choice in deciding on activities. Ask your mentee what he or she would like to do during your time together. This ensures that the young person will be interested and engaged in the activity.


· Be positive. Offer encouragement and assistance. When times are tough, help the young person focus on the future. Celebrate successes large and small.


· Let the mentee control the direction of conversations. Don’t push the mentee to tell you everything at once; allow him or her time to get to know you. Be sensitive and respectful and above all keep everything the mentee says to you confidential (unless the youth plans to hurt herself or someone else).


· Listen. Sometimes the young person will need to vent about school, work, home, or friends. By listening more than talking you can learn a lot and build your relationship.


· Respect the trust the mentee places in you. Don’t judge the mentee or provide unwanted advice. Reassure him that you will be there no matter what.


· Remember that your relationship is with the young person, not his or her parent. The focus of the match is on the youth’s goals, not those of the family. At the same time, avoid passing judgment on the mentee’s family.


· Remember that you are responsible for building the relationship. Take the initiative to keep in contact with your mentee.

(Excerpt from http://youthbuildmentoringalliance.org/content/tips-being-great-mentor)

It's been a year!!

WOW!  I have been at Kids 'n Kinship a year!

In some ways it seems longer, and in other ways it feels like yesterday.

In the past year I have learned so much about my self and met so many spectacular kids,  mentors and volunteers!  Here are my definitions for some of the people I encounter daily:

Kids: resilient.  I am amazed by the resiliency of the kids I have the privilege of working with. Some who, by all rights should be angry at what life has handed them, yet often they are not.  That are just looking to find their way in this world and need some assistance from another caring adult, which is where our mentors come it!  

Mentors: fun.  The extraordinary grown ups that share their time, their life, their family and their heart with a young person and end up gaining so much more than just a friendship.

Volunteers: giving. The fabulous adults that band together and create committees to organize and run our events that  raise money to support what they believe in!

I am very lucky to be able to watch people's lives grow and change in so many different ways, my own included!!

SUMMER FUN!!

Summer fun!!  Try some of these!!

1) “Mentees are teachers!” Have your mentee teach you something they are knowledgeable about.
2) “Go on a trip!” Not really of course, but choose a place you have always wanted to visit (Fiji, Greece, Disney World) find pictures and fun facts in magazines, books and online. When is the best time to go?  What do you want see while you are there?  Then make your own scrapbook or travelers guide.  A great way to explore and learn geography!  

3) Play the “Who, what, when, where, why, how” game.   Rip 6 pieces of paper and on each write “who”, “what”, “when”, “where”, “why” and “how”.  Read a story, and take turns drawing one of the pieces of paper and answering a made up “who”, “what”, “when”, “where”, “why” or “how” about the story.

4) “Learn a language!”  Learn Sign language, Spanish, Latin or Pig Latin!  Teach each other a new word or phrase at each session.  Write them down to keep track and see how many you can remember.

5) “Act it out!”  Go to the library find a play, and read it out loud.

6) Make your own board game.

7) “Write a letter!”  Talk to your school’s mentor coordinator about finding a pen pal for you and your mentee at their school (the principal or guidance counselor), abroad or with armed service member.   a. For younger students you can work on your letter together letting them dictate to you or maybe help to write.

8) Make a bird feeder.   Do your research on what types of birds are in your area.  Find out about each bird's preferred habitat and diet.  With the right food, you may be able to attract some birds that you don't normally see otherwise.

9) “Story Swap!”  Start writing a story with your mentee, then each take turns taking the story home and adding new fun twists and turns to the story.  

10) “What is onomatopoeia?  Find out!”  Each of you seek out new and interesting English words and share them at your next session.  Make your own book of definitions. 52 Mentor Activities: An activity for each week! Feel free to change the activities to fit your mentee’s interest, or come up new activities! 

11) “What’s your plan?”  Make a timeline of your life over the next 5‐10 years.  What do you want to accomplish by the time you are 10, 16, 18 and 25?

12) “Make a collage!” Choose a theme like: “What do I want in my future?”, “What is fashion“, “What I want to be”, and find pictures and words in old magazines and glue them on paper. a. For younger students you can collage a specific letter and cut pictures out that begin with that letter, or make a number chart finding and cutting out pictures of: 1‐ dog, 2‐  letter “w”, 3‐ shoes, etc.   

13) Make a kite   

14) Write a haiku

15) Play 20 questions

16) Put together a puzzle or make your own.

17) Play hangman

18) Play Sudoku

19) Do a crossword puzzle or word search, or make your own!

20) “It’s a mystery!”  Write down a list of 10 things you’ve always wanted to know.  “Why is it dark at night?”  “How does a car work?”  “How does an airplane fly?”  Go to the library or go to the internet and figure out the answers!

Ideas taken from http://www.creativementoring.org/

Adverse experiences

Adverse Experiences For Youth Are All Too Common

(Reposted with Permission from Paul Meunier)

Adverse experiences are a common denominator among the young people served by Youth Intervention programs. For young people who experience trauma, many will struggle with social, emotional or behavioral problems as they grow up.

It is estimated that 66% of youth may have at least one adverse experience in their history and more than 20% may have three or more adverse experiences. With this prevalence, youth workers must have a thorough knowledge of the impact of adverse experiences and how to effectively work with youth who have had experienced them.

Some of the adverse experiences youth experience are:

• Emotional abuse or neglect – Youth are told they are no good, are stupid or are at fault for problems. Others may be ignored, made to feel unimportant or are excluded from positive emotional connections with their caregivers.
• Physical abuse or neglect – Youth are hit, pushed or slapped hard enough to leave a mark or cause injury. Not having their basic needs met (e.g. food, health care, shelter) can make youth feel unsafe.
• Sexual abuse – Youth are exploited by a caregiver or stranger; they forced the youth to touch or be touched in a sexual manner or to engage in intercourse.
• Problems in the household where care is given – Issues such as mental health, chemical abuse, domestic violence or other maladaptive behaviors are present and create instability or unpredictability in care giving.

Results from the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACES) study indicate that different types of trauma can lead to a diverse array of maladaptive behaviors in our youth.

It’s not difficult to spot behaviors that have resulted from adverse experiences. Throwing a chair in the classroom or a youth cutting their arms to the point of bleeding can’t be missed. However, it does take skill to identify the trauma that is the root cause of the behavior and know how to appropriately respond.

Simply trying to change the behavior is not effective for promoting a youth’s long-term healthy development. Rather than resolving the issue, there is the potential to do more harm than good.

It is important that the Youth Intervention services we provide are trauma informed.

Trauma informed care means:

• Understanding the impact of trauma
• Being able to recognize and identify symptoms of trauma
• Using evidence-based practices
• Having policies procedures in place specific to addressing the various cognitive, emotional and behavioral problems associated with trauma
• Being committed to avoiding the re-traumatizing the youth

Youth Intervention programs that utilized trauma informed care will:

• Screen for adverse experiences in youth. It is a component of their intake.
• Consider the impact of adverse experiences in all their interactions with youth. It is a constant awareness and not just when a youth is in crisis.
• Help caregivers of youth understand the impact that trauma has on youth and provide restorative techniques that will also help caregivers to heal.
• Set out to help young people understand how the adverse experiences have influenced their life. The intent is to help youth turn negative self-beliefs into an understanding of why they do what they do.
• Help youth develop coping skills that can help heal past experiences or to cope with experiences that are likely to continue in their care giving

Without appropriate intervention, youth who experience trauma could easily become the next generation of caregivers unable to provide their children with a nurturing environment. On a much larger scale, if this cycle is to be broken, Youth Intervention must be considered an essential service so that all youth get the help they need.

Paul Meunier is the Executive Director of the Youth Intervention Programs Association (YIPA)